Losing My Mind and Laughing About It

A couple months ago, when we were having our fence replaced (the one that blew over in the last storm), it came time to pay the invoice.

I answered the door, while I was in the middle of writing - my head in a complete jumble over words and sentences - and proceeded to sign the waiver confirming the fence people did a good job, finished the job, etc. 

I signed my name and proceeded to fill in the date. Only, I couldn't remember the date. We were in March, and it was early March... but what was the year?

I mentally jogged back to the last check I'd written, or the last calendar glance I'd made, but nothing came to mind. I looked past the guy holding the clipboard waiting for me, hoping my change of scenery would bring back the date. But it didn't.

For all I knew, it was 1985 with America deep into the Reagan administration.

Why can't I remember what year this is?

Now, remember, all of these thoughts are happening lightning fast and only a couple of seconds have passed. The guy with the clipboard hasn't a clue that my mind is in the middle of a meltdown. At least, not yet.

This is it, I thought.

This is the day when my mind officially has left the premises. Who would take care of the kids?

Would I even be able to remember my name by the end of the day?

"So, uh...," I said out loud, "What day is this?" Trying to play dumb as if I only didn't know the day. And then I mentally girded myself: I got ready to say it: I was about to ask him what year it was. "And we're in what year?" I asked with a slight chuckle.

He laughed and kindly told me 2024, and it all came tumbling back. Yes, yes... we are in the year 2024! 

I knew what he was thinking; I could read it on his face, "What is wrong with this lady?"

Pal, I'm wondering the same thing.

I laughed again, he laughed again, and he handed me the receipt. I thanked him, shut the door, and locked it, the smile now gone. What in the world just happened?

For the rest of the day, I wondered if indeed this was the beginning of Alzheimer's. Did it start with dates, I wondered? Maybe it was the second cup of coffee that had hijacked my brain? Or maybe it was that I hadn't had enough coffee?

Maybe it was that I lived in a vintage world. Because I really do. I sell vintage clothing and I'm constantly listing items in my Etsy shop. A vintage '60s dress here, an '80s jean jacket there. I love vintage everything. Maybe that was it? Maybe I was losing my grasp on time because I was living in the past?

I even told my oldest son what happened."Really?" he said, "And you asked him what year it was?" Oh, Lord... I did. I really had asked the guy what year it was.

I realize we all forget things from time to time, but not remembering the year was like not remembering that my eyes were blue or that I had two boys. It was a part of me that I'd always remembered and for once, it was obliterated from my mind.

Amnesia at its finest, I suppose.

I read somewhere that if you take a traumatic or embarrassing experience and turn that view of a horrific scene into one that is humorous, it changes the very essence of the experience; it releases the trauma and turns it into a positive experience. 

Because it was traumatic. Forgetting the year is like memorizing a speech that disappears the moment you're on stage. 

So then, what's funny about it? How can I keep this event from tormenting my mind and body?

It's funny because it shows I'm human; it shows no one's perfect; it shows we all have weak moments, and it really is humorous that my brain wouldn't work like I wanted it to.

I may be losing my mind, or maybe, it's that I didn't have enough coffee (I'm going to go with that one), but if I'm going to lose my mind, I'm going to do it laughing. After all, laughing is good for us. And I'm hoping the laughter will also help with the memory problems.

Here's to happy youthful minds and here's to 2024!