Always a Work in Progress

My youngest son, who isn't that young (he'll be 18 in two months) came to me just a few days ago and said something profound. He said: "I'm not really naturally good at anything."

Of course, I did my motherly return of "Oh son, of course you are," and reminded him of how good he was at a lot of things. But, what he was really saying was this: "It takes a lot of work to do something better than average."

I actually congratulated him on becoming an adult right then. I had to point out to him that at the young - but maturing - age of nearly 18, he's realized he doesn't know everything.

A lot of great stories in this book.

In fact, if I was reading him right, he was actually telling me he didn't know much at all. Which is huge. This is practically like clouds parting and the sun coming out huge. He was finally - finally, after years of him telling me (and not telling me) that he "knows" everything, as most young boys do - understanding what life was all about.

Life is unfair and life is hard. And in the end, we're going to be average or below average in many things. 

I told him our goal is to do the best we can and continue to improve - even if it is in minute amounts - on all we do, learn, see, have, and become. 

I told him I didn't know how to do anything great either. I've been writing professionally for over twenty years and I am still learning how to write. I'll never have it all figured out. I don't even know who I am and what I like, most days. 

When I hear someone say, "The older I get the more I realize I don't know anything," I hear it as the mark of maturity, which is essentially where my son is at. It means he is ready to learn. He understands humility. He has the chance to transform - through a lifetime - into the person he needs to be because he doesn't think he has it all figured out.

Guidepost's latest book, Transformed by His Grace, took a story of mine and it just came out. Last week, I received my author copies.

My story is about a chance meeting with a friend whom I never would've chosen to have as a friend had I not been open-minded about it. Today, years later, we're still friends. We're unlikely friends with different backgrounds, but great friends nonetheless.

I know nothing about everything, apparently. I can't even pick out friends that would be a good fit for me. God has to intervene! 

A friend whom I would've walked right by because she wasn't like me ended up being a much-needed part of my life. I am a better person because of this chance meeting. 

But after decades of writing (also called rejection), I'm finally getting a steady stream of published works. It's been an arduous journey, but it is worth the time it takes to learn something and learn it well.

I told my son that I am still learning how to do everything. I'm not naturally talented at the things I want to do, and most people aren't. 

All of that talent takes time to acquire. And for me and my writing, I'm still acquiring it. Sure, I'm getting published but most days, particularly when I'm working on my longer stories, I shake my head and wonder how it's possible to be such a bad writer.

Being open to rejection, being open to doing things wrong, and being open to correction are all attributes of a great person. Because if we can keep going despite those things, we are malleable which means there's room for growth.

But, I don't like it. Any of it. It's painful, embarrassing, demoralizing, and humbling. But knowing I can slog through the hum-drum of life, forging through the forests of average to get to the place of above-average, keeps me going down the path that's laid out before me.

I am a constant work in progress and that's the place I probably will be in for the rest of my life. But being willing to change - and allowing for constant transformation - keeps me both human and hopefully, a better human.

That is all I'm trying to tell my son and it's a beautiful thing to see he finally understands it.