Oh (dear!), Christmas Tree

I don't know what it is, but this is the first year I don't feel pressured to do anything quickly for Christmas. Perhaps it was my own self-imposed wishes over the last Christmases to do things just right, to get the Christmas cards out early, and to get the tree up before Thanksgiving.

Perhaps it's because both my boys will be flying the coop within about three months of each other and I don't feel the urge to make things perfect or the same. Because, in a few short months, that "norm" will come to a screeching halt.

You might want to check in on me when that happens. I realize all parents go through this. But, after losing my beloved dog last year, and then both my boys this coming new year, well, let's just say I'll feel alone in the family department unlike anything I've ever felt.

A friend of mine just wrote about this same thing. It's like we've transitioned to a different phase of life, and, to be honest, I hope I never go back to the old way. I'm done striving.

This year, as far as Christmas goals, has been the opposite of every one of those previous tenets of my life. And I'm so glad it's different. Because my time isn't as pressed as it has been (working several jobs and keeping track of the kids and our lives), my need to get things done has altered. It can't help but change.

Christmas cards? Well, you'll be lucky to get them by Christmas, to be honest. I've sent out a few to family, but that's it. Sorry about that (but not really.)

Christmas gifts? Normally, I've purchased and wrapped all of them by December 1st. I realize this is over-the-top and excessively perfectionistic, but when work and family collide with the holiday, there are too many things to do to sit by and let it pile up. Such is the life of a working mom. So, I always felt like I had to stay on top of things just to survive.

This year, I just finished buying the gifts and again, I'll be lucky if I get them all wrapped by the 23rd. I'm not feeling the calling to do that anymore.

Christmas tree? For the last decade or so, the tree comes out right after my youngest boy's birthday, the 16th of November. Because one month of the Christmas tree is too short. This year? We just got it. Perhaps this is a new normal for me now.

Speaking of Christmas trees, we purchased a permit to chop down our trees on land that needs a little deforestation. But because we here in Northern California have had so many wildfires, the land available to do the chopping has reduced significantly.

If you squint, she doesn't look too bad.

We were relegated to a small portion of land to choose from and when it comes to those sorts of confinements, you get what you get. Because of that, our tree is the most Charlie Brownest of all Christmas trees we've ever had. And you know what? I love it. She's still a beauty. She's a tad waifish, but all the same, she's beautiful. For $10, I have nothing to complain about.

This year is a different Christmas but different is also good. It's not always welcomed, but it is good because it forces us to grow, change, and evolve for the better. Next Christmas is going to be even more foreign than this one without my boys at home.

I've slowed down my Christmas living this year and am enjoying every second I have with family. I'm doing it all with a slightly anorexic tree, late Christmas cards, and no presents under the tree (yet), but man, does it sure feel good.

It's going to be the best Christmas yet. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas... one as gentle and slow as it needs to be. ♥